11 things a man should never say to a woman training for a marathon
1. “Can you just rub my feet, I’ve had a really busy day.” Oh no, really?
2. After your 18-mile long run… “I bought Fifty Shades of Grey today, fancy going to bed early to watch it?” Think you’re in with a chance? Dream on…
3. “You look tired.” Just don’t go there. Ever.
4. “What’re you doing with the kids this afternoon? The rugby/football/tennis/snooker/darts (delete as appropriate) is on so I’ll need some peace and quiet.” Big sigh.
5. “Why do you need another pair of trainers?” If you don’t understand that no woman can ever have enough trainers I’m not even going to try and explain.
6. “If you don’t go for a run today you’ll really regret it.” Err… I think we know that already.
7. “I’m surprised you haven’t lost more weight.” Really? Well, if you had to consume 10 tins of rice pudding a week to replace lost calories neither would you. It’s called marathon fat.
8. “Maybe you could have trained harder this week?” Oh yes, juggling the kids/work/house probably isn’t hard enough. And when did you last do what I do and train for a marathon?
9. “Is that a new top?” The pressure of marathon training often leads to spontaneous purchasing of extra kit. Don’t question it, just accept that utter exhaustion always leads to running kit retail therapy. It will stop after the marathon. For a while.
10. “Jenny in the office said her PB’s 10-minutes faster than you.” OK! So does half the running population of the whole world! Who cares!
11. Five hours after your run… “Are you not having your shower then?” No. I’m tired, I’ve taken the kids out, done lunch, homework, housework and tea. It’s activewear till bedtime. I smell. I don’t care.